Are You a 64-Crayon Communicator in an 8-Crayon World?

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Have you ever been in a conversation where someone asks for teal, but all you have is dark blue? That’s the challenge of communication. We can only express ourselves using the tools we have—just like an artist can only create with the colors available in their crayon box. Some of us communicate with an 8-pack of crayons, while others have an entire 64-pack with metallics and neons. The number of crayons in your communication toolkit determines how effectively you express yourself and understand others.

Why Communication Feels So Hard

Communication breakdowns often stem from differences in vocabulary, emotional intelligence, experience, and expression styles. Frustration can arise if someone speaks in subtle shades, but you only have the basics. For example, if someone tries to express a nuanced feeling (teal) and you only have broad strokes (dark blue), you may struggle to grasp their exact meaning.

On the flip side, if you’re a 64-pack communicator speaking to an 8-pack communicator, you might overwhelm them with complex or layered messages that don’t resonate. The key to better communication is recognizing the gaps and learning to mix and layer colors—words, emotions, and tones—to create a more transparent exchange.

Expanding Your Crayon Box: How to Communicate Better

You don’t have to stay limited if you only have eight crayons. You can mix colors to create new shades—just like you can refine and enhance your communication skills. Here are some ways to expand your toolkit:

1. Blend Your Words for More Nuance

Just as combining blue and green makes teal, combining different words, tones, and expressions can refine your message. Instead of saying “I’m fine” (a vague, single-color response), try “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed but managing” (a blended, richer shade of meaning).

2. Use Context and Examples

Sometimes, a single word isn’t enough to capture what you mean. If you’re missing the exact term, paint a picture. Instead of saying, “I’m frustrated,” explain why: “I feel frustrated because I don’t think my ideas are being considered.” This adds layers to your communication, making it easier for others to understand.

3. Borrow from the 64-Pack Communicators

Listen and learn from those who have more crayons in their toolkit. Read books, listen to podcasts, and engage in discussions that challenge your perspective. Pay attention to how effective communicators mix their colors—balancing tone, phrasing, and body language to create a more straightforward message.

4. Ask for Clarification

If someone asks for teal and you only have dark blue, don’t guess—ask what they mean. Clarifying questions like, “Can you describe what you mean by teal?” help bridge the gap. Likewise, when communicating, ensure your audience understands by checking in: “Does this make sense to you?”

5. Practice Emotional Intelligence

Communication isn’t just about words; it’s about emotions, too. If you’re working with a limited color set, expanding your emotional vocabulary can help. Instead of saying, “I’m mad,” try specifying: “I’m disappointed because I felt overlooked.” The more precise you are, the clearer your message will be.

Growing Your Communication Palette

We all start somewhere. Some people naturally have a 64-pack communication style, while others work with a basic set. However, communication is a skill that can grow. By blending words, using context, learning from others, and clarifying meanings, you can expand your communication toolkit and create vibrant conversations that genuinely connect.

So, next time someone asks for teal, and all you have is dark blue, remember: you have the power to mix, blend, and grow. Communication isn’t about how many crayons you start with—it’s about how you use them.

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Key Takeaways

• The number of “crayons” in your communication toolkit determines how effectively you express and understand others.

• If you have a limited vocabulary or experience, you can mix and blend words, tones, and emotions to add nuance.

• Providing context and examples can help convey complex messages more clearly.

• Learning from skilled communicators and asking for clarification can bridge communication gaps.

• Expanding emotional intelligence enhances the depth and precision of communication.